This afternoon, I had to go to the DMV to take care of an issue with my driver's license. The DMV is downtown, and even at 4:00 p.m. on a Tuesday afternoon, it is teeming with, well, *interesting* people.
- People with the b-word tattooed on the smalls of their backs.
- People with platinum blonde and blue hair.
- People in their late-40s on the phone with their mothers cursing because mom refused to transfer $250 dollars into their bank accounts without proof of a DMV receipt.
- People standing outside of the door asking for 80 cents.
Looking around, I felt bitterness - bitterness toward all of the people wasting the gifts they were given. The gift of being able to walk. The gift of being able to talk. The gift of being able to understand the world enough to be able to drive.
Yes, I realize I am being judgmental. I realize I don't know the full stories of any of the people I am now writing about. But those realizations don't stop my negative feelings.
I know this evening will be better. I will go home to Claire, and if I'm lucky, I'll get to watch a sweet little girl play in her little room. And hopefully, the joy of watching Claire play will overcome the bitterness and anger I'm feeling right now.
It's hard to brush those feelings away sometime. But I'm sure as soon as you walked through that door and saw Claire's sweet face, those feelings diminished. You are such a wonderful and caring mom/person.
ReplyDeleteI hope you are now at home getting some sweet cuddles. I have been in the moment as well, and I believe it is completly natural to have those feelings. I think that it is easy for people to take for granted the gifts they have been given.
ReplyDeleteAnd most importantly Claire will know this:
"The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.” ~ Helen Keller
I love it, Jen & Diane! Thanks so much for the great reminders!
ReplyDelete- Amy
Oh I know what you mean. Seeing people have something so precious and wasting it, acting like they don't even cherish it. Frustrating! I guess it does prove that what's felt in the heart is most treasured because in there lies all the ability to live fully.
ReplyDelete