We recently took Claire to see a doctor who specializes in neuro-developmental psychology. This doctor works with kids like Claire and advises on the physical, social, and emotional aspects of their development.
We were looking forward to the visit because, while we are realistic in understanding there is no "cure" for Claire's condition, and nothing we do will fundamentally change her physical disabilities, we also wanted to make sure we were doing everything possible to ensure she reaches her maximum potential.
After spending several hours with Claire, the doctor had a number of interesting observations. She noticed, for example, that Claire is very open-handed and enjoys touching objects and running her fingers over them. Many (but not all) kids with neurological issues remain fisted and dislike having objects placed in their hands. She suggested Claire's hands were an area we should focus on--helping her increase dexterity and teaching her to manipulate objects so she may one day be able to operate a motorized wheelchair or a communication device, which, of course, would mean greater independence for her.
She also was impressed with Claire's language development. Claire has always been very vocal, and while she doesn't say "words," she loves to make different sounds. She also enjoys listening to her own voice. During the appointment, the doctor noticed Claire made certain sounds to indicate enjoyment (e.g., when playing with a toy she liked) and different sounds to indicate dissatisfaction (e.g., when her paci fell out and she couldn't get her it back in her mouth on her own). The doctor was encouraged by Claire's use of sound to make her needs known. She suggested that even if Claire never develops speech, she may be able to communicate in other ways.
But the doctor's most interesting observation was that Claire is a "social" child. I was surprised by her suggestion, because Claire has never really stricken me as social. She doesn't smile, nor does she actively engage people. She prefers to sit calmly in a person's lap and look up at them, staring contently at their face.
Nevertheless, the doctor pointed out that while Claire may not be overtly social, she gives a lot of subtle cues indicating she enjoys being with other people and hates being alone. For example:
- She snuggles in close to the person holding her.
- She places her hands on top of theirs or slips her tiny fingers underneath the collar of their shirt until she is touching their skin.
- She responds to others' voices, both by turning her head and by making her voice heard.
- She cries out when she believes she has been left alone in a room by herself.
- She stops fussing the moment someone re-enters the room and reassures her she is not alone.
- She changes her behavior when people she likes are present. (Brad told the doctor that she is much more active and alert when she hears me come in from work, for example.)
It also makes me so proud. After all, if you know me, you know I am just a wee bit outgoing. I love to talk and genuinely enjoy being around other people. I am sure many parents enjoy seeing a reflection of themselves in their children. For me, it was one of the many things I was looking forward to in becoming a mother. After the severity of Claire's disabilities became apparent, however, I prepared myself for the possibility that I may never get to experience that phenomenon.
Having reason to believe that Claire takes after me is nothing short of wonderful. Not only is it fulfilling to know that she takes after me in more ways than just her physical appearance, it is such a gift to see her little personality shine through. I am so grateful to know the behaviors I have been seeing are purposeful and meaningful: They are Claire's way of expressing how she feels.
Yes, I love knowing that Claire is her mother's daughter.
This is so lovely! And that has to be one of the best Drs appointments EVER.
ReplyDelete